Stephen Colbert Proves He’s a Jedi Master

A long, long time ago in a galaxy not so far away, Stephen Colbert saw Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope two weeks before the rest of us.

On his December 1st episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took time to reflect on the new Star Wars trailer. He began with a story about how he won tickets to see the first film two weeks before its national release in 14977. He did not know that is would change his life but he emerged thereafter and declared himself a fan, imagining the full moon that night was the Death Star.

When he reviews the trailer itself, he discusses several awesome things in the trailer but focuses the bulk of the segment on the new, controversial lightsaber seen in the hands of a Sith.

Fans have not been able to stop talking about this all-new lightsaber. Some claim it’s impractical because this new lightsaber has two blades that are close to the hand and seemingly unable to protect you, since your enemy could slice through the hilt that the beams come from. Others find it completely awesome, and others yet have photoshopped the image to make it even more impractical.

Colbert, however, explained it for us. And we should listen to him because he’s the original fan and has been for two weeks longer than the rest of us.

According to Colbert, the beams do not begin at the edge of the metal hilt, but rather the metal hilts encase the beams. In other words, there are not 3 separate beams, but rather one that emits forward with two smaller beams emitting perpendicularly. This is possible with 3 crystal activators in the lightsaber to split the plasma into 3 directions.

If you’re a true Padawan, you’ll already know this but if you don’t believe us, watch for yourself!



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